Thursday, April 23, 2009

My New Hero

So I'm browsing the internet for new gossip and fashion headlines to bless you with this beautiful morning when suddenly I see this magnificent photograph taken of Paris Hilton posing with some men and women in the armed forces at the First Ladies of Africa Gala last night. Before I could even roll my eyes and mutter "photo op", the gorgeous creature on the Vaginal Vortex's left caught my attention. Let me tell you, if you look up "Bitch, please" in the dictionary, you will see that chick's face. Now I don't know if she's eyeball fucking VV because she looks like a busted Barbie with giant Ken feet, or because she's famous for being famous, or because she was sure that no amount of dry cleaning would be able to remove the rotten tuna smell from her class A's, or because she knew the vaccinations the Air Force gave her would not even begin to cover the diseases VV was sure to pass on to her (that's some Area 51 shit right there), but regardless homegirl does not look pleased. And rightly so. The good men and women of our Armed Forces risk life and limb fighting overseas. The least we could do is make sure they are safe on home soil. And putting them within breathing distance of a walking petri dish is not what I'd call keeping them safe. As a result I think my new hero deserves a purple heart, medal of honor, and one for fighting biological terror. I know they don't really have a medal for that, but in her case I think they need to make one.


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