Sunday, May 3, 2009

Damn That Matha Washington's Got It Going On

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Have you ever said to yourself "Self, Martha Washington is fucking hot!" Or "Psht, I know Mozart was a genius and all, but his ass really could have used a good nose job." Well, if you're like the delusional mothers over at People, answers to those questions would be an emphatic hell to the yes! In their latest annual 100 Most Beautiful edition, they asked average folks off the street whether they thought some of the most historical figures of all time were Hot or Not. And can you believe people actually answered? Everyone from Shakespeare to Cleopatra was graded and rated, proving that no matter how long you've been deceased and no matter how many great sonnets you have written, what it all boils down to is how do-able you are. Man, I bet Nefertiti's milkshake brings all the boy ghosts to they yard. Cause damn right, it's better than Mary Tudors'. That bitch could have really used some "What Not to Wear". Those ruffles are making her face look blooooooated!

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