Sunday, May 17, 2009

I Think I'll Pass

Ugh. Dane fucking Cook. What an annoying douchebag. I don't care how ripped he gets, I still maintain that his dick probably looks like a shriveled old prune wrapped in Mortadella. His netheregions scream "petri dish of disease". Which is ironic considering the fact that he's always talking shit about the slutty von slut sluts that pass the genital grossness his way. As if he has room to talk. You could probably fill an entire country with the number of dames that have to spend the rest of their lives with Amoxicillan strapped to their persons because of his fuckery.
Speaking of giant gonnoreah infested d-bags, here's John Mayer leaving My House nightclub in West Hollywood on Saturday covered in kisses.
Said the singer on his twitter: “Okay, check it. Just spent the last hour getting the reddest lipstick on me for a gag. When you see the pics of me leaving the club covered in kisses it’s all a gag. Have fun. Smile at the things that worry you. Play good music. Laugh. Live your life!!”
Wow. You see what he did right there? He fooled us into thinking those were authentic lipstick kisses from an unidentified tranny prostitute female fan. He's so clever! And his advice on living, laughing and playing is brilliant. If Plato were alive I'm sure he'd bow in the presence of such a philosophical master mind. A regular Dostoevsky this one is.


Sarah said...

Double ditto on these douches. Abs or no abs, Dane is one helluva big slutty yawn.

Great blog, BTW!

Suburbia Steph said...

You know, I realized while watching The Soup this weekend how dainty Dane Cook is. I mean. Joel McHale totally dwarfed his ass!

Keith said...

Both are a couple of real losers. I can't stand either one of them.

Mrs. M. said...

Really? I would have figured JM to be sort of dainty himself (and I say that with all the love bc he's such a cool mother) Im sure Dane Cook's ego makes up for the daintiness though. You know that ego maniacal asshole thinks hes the hottest thing since sliced bread.

Carsi said...

Oh my God I hate those two so much, I hate how so many college girls think that it's cool to like them because Dane's the "edgy" comic and John's the sensitive guitar player.
Steph saw him on the Soup also, which made me almost change the channel, Joel is a giant and kinda dwarfs everyone, it even better when someone like Seth Green comes on he looks like an elf next to him

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