Wednesday, May 6, 2009

No Shit

For those of you who do not have eyes or see life through circus mirrors, Kirstie Alley wants you to know that she's gained 83 lbs. I know, who cares right? Evidently People magazine because they put her fat ass on the cover with confessions of how shameful she feels about the weight gain. And before you start getting mad at me for calling her fat, let me just say that any attention whore who uses their weight as a means to stay relevant (I'm talking to you, Lohan) deserves to be called a fat ass. And also moron. Sure there are some people out there who are naturally very thin or naturally very heavy. But as for these Hollywood bitches I am so effing tired of hearing them go on and on and on about how much they weigh. It's like STFU already! This "I love my curves!" and "My shameful weight battle" bullshit is starting to wear really fucking thin. You don't see Kevin James on the cover of In Touch in a damn bathing suit talking about how he's bikini season ready. Shit, Horatio Sanz lost about 500 pounds and nobody even cared. Why? Because he's a dude. And it doesn't matter how much a dude weighs because they have more to offer, right? But the women-forget about it. It doesn't matter howe funny or brilliant or talented you are. If you're fat, they say your depressed. If you're skinny they say you're depressed. And if you're juuuuust right they expect you to strip down and talk about how you love your body. Fuck that bullshit and fuck Kirstie Alley right up her fat ass. Her, Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Carnie Wilson, Lindsay Lohan, all those bitches are doing nothing but perpetrating the fuckery that a woman is defined not by her talent, but by her weight. The next time they're asked about their weight they should say "Fuck off bitch. How about telling me how much you weigh you skeezy little shit?" I'm serious, me and all these attention whores are done, professionally. Why? Because it's fucking distracting (ohhhh, good!)


Suburbia Steph said...

I love the dude pulling the "bird" out of his pocket! LOL

Go eat some more fettuccine, Kirstie!

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