Thursday, May 14, 2009

Rohypnol Ryan and Ambien Abbie Resurface!

Well, well, well! If it isn't my absolute favorite yawn inducing couple ever, Rohypnol Ryan Phillippe and Ambien Abbie Cornish Game Hen! How I've missed these two! I assume there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for their prolonged absence. Probably some big bash celebrating the letter "Q" or a week long presentation on the lengthy history of cellophane. Now because I am the prepared individual that I am, I happen to have an audio recording of the conversation that transpired between these two. Allow me to translate the transcript:
Ambien Abbie: I like walking.
Rohypnol Ryan: As do I. It is an ever so enjoyable activity that strengthens the cardiovascular system.
AA: And how! Although I do not like running. It makes my heart rate imcrease and I believe that any activity that encourages a racing heart is dangerous and can lead to a stroke.
RR: Ah yes I have read studies conducted on that very subject and although the findings indicate that running is in fact good for you, I prefer to play it safe just in case.
AA: I must admit I did run once. Fun was chasing me.
RR: Oh yes, you must be careful of fun.
AA: Yes, it is dangerous and leads to awful things like rock concerts and careless anonymous sexual encounters with strangers which always result in sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancies, and shameful feelings of regret. Give me a good old fashion basket to weave over that nonsense any day of the week.
RR: Basket weaving? Abbie you must take heed when engaging in such wild endeavors. You could get a splinter!
AA: Ryan what a pertinent point! I had never thought about the deadly repercussions of basket weaving! I thank you for bringing that to my attention. Now what's say we briskly ride our bikes home so that we may have a delightful dinner. I'm thinking about making plain noodles and dry toast.
RR: I hate to be a bother, but dry toast is a tad too spicy for me. Perhaps I could whip up some plain rice cakes that are devoid of flavor-except of course you count the love I will make them with!
AA: Oh Ryan, you are a hoot and a half! Perhaps after dinner we could hold hands and stare at the wall and talk about cheese.

RR: That sure sounds like a Goud-a idea!
Both: Ha-ha-ha-ha!


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