Saturday, June 6, 2009

AMC's Worst Dressed Women On Screen is Filled with Wrong

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Whatever AMC is smoking, I do not want any because it obviously makes you delirious and misguided. The station's blog has unveiled it's picks for the worst dressed women warriors in fantasy and the worst dressed sci-fi babes, and it is filled with wrong. Lots and lots of wrong. Let me tell you the first thing they did wrong: calling out Grace Jones. You do not call out Grace Jones ever! That's like, in the Bible sandwiched between thou salt not covet thy neighbor's wife and Abraham begetting Issac! Here's the second thing they did wrong: saying that Malin Ackerman's character in the Watchmen cannot possibly fight crime in three inch heels. Three effing inches? What pussies. I don't know about you, but I cannot fight crime in anything less than 5 inches. Seriously. You should see me in flats. I become the clumsiest bitch in the world but in heels, I gliiiiide.
Three: saying that Kate Nauta in The Transporter 2 should not have been wearing a garter belt. Why the hell is this a problem? It's not inhibiting, it's stretchy and it looks good. In fact, that's my favorite female character of all time-both style and ass kicking wise. The only thing I will agree with on this list is their insinuation that Jennifer Garner's character in Elektra was a dumbass for making her corset silk. That I will accept because everyone knows how gross silk gets when rained on. But here's my main problem: saying that their battlegear is not practical. Of course it's not fucking practical! It's a movie! A fictional, fantasy movie. I mean honestly, if you're willing to accept that people can fly and become invisible or even be attracted to Dane Cook, than I think you should be willing to accept the slight inpracticality of a woman warrior's garb.
Anyway here are both lists. To read the nonsensical commentary that accompanies them, simply click
here
Worst Dressed Female Warriors
Red Sonja,
Red Sonja (Brigitte Nielsen)
Zulu,
Conan the Destroyer (Grace Jones)
Guinevere,
King Arthur (Keira Knightley)
The White Witch,
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (Tilda Swinton)
Elektra,
Elektra (Jennifer Garner)
Worst Dressed Sci-Fi Chicks
Barbarella, Barbarella (Jane Fonda)
Pris, Blade Runner (Daryll Hannah
Gail, Sin City (Rosario Dawson)

Jupiter, Watchmen (2009) (Malin Ackerman)
Lola, Transporter 2 (2005) (Kate Nauta)

2 comments:

Emily said...

I can't believe Tilda Swinton's White Witch is on there! She is SUPPOSED to look creepy, and the costume and makeup people did one hell of a job because she looked DAMN creepy. What did AMC expect, green face paint and warts?

Mrs. M. said...

lol come on now Emily-you know a woman can't fight a war unless she's fug. A wart is the secret weapon to victory.

 
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