Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Because Cancer is the New Black...

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I bet you often find yourself wondering "Self, how DOES that radiant beam of light Kate Moss keep her bloated, prepubescent girlish figure?" Well, the answer is simple: ciggies, ciggies, and more ciggies. In fact, the supermodel loves her sticks so much that she insists her assistant keep at least 100 cigarettes nearby at all times and leave a packet of her favourite Marlboro Lights on every table in her home before she goes to bed. "Kate has five coffee tables spread between her living room, kitchen, office and bedroom so that's a lot of cigarettes. She also has a special tennis ball with holes for cigarettes to stick out from so visitors can relax with a smoke," a source said. However, friends are worried 35-year-old Kate's hard partying lifestyle is beginning to take its toll. "The cigarettes are starting to show on Kate's face. She is apparently chain smoking more than ever now and gets through up to two packs a day," the insider added.
Kate is looking pretty damn beat for a 35 year old. But hey, that's what God invented photoshop and plastic surgery for, right?

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