Friday, June 19, 2009

Jon and Kate to Announce Divorce

Are you sick yet of hearing the neverending drama of Jon & Kate? Well evidently they are because rumor has it the couple are going to drop a completely predictable shocking bombshell on their viewers Monday when they announce their plans to divorce. In the commercial for the latest episode of Jon & Kate Plus Jon's Mistress Plus Mommy's Little Moneymakers Minus Dignity, the duo hint that they will be announcing a lifechanging decision which a source tells is a split. The snitch says that Kate recently met with a divorce lawyer and that Jon will be filing divorce papers by next week. Another source told that the couple had previously agreed to separate by July 15, but that timetable has now been pushed forward.

Although their 10th wedding anniversary was last week, the couple spent it seperately with Kate taking the chitlens to North Carolina while Jon was balls deep in some fame whore freshman. Ok no I'm just guessing that last part but given his history I'm probably right on the money. Kate also shook of her own scandal earlier in the week when she was caught by paps spanking her daughter.

I hate to say it, but this really comes as no surprise. It is a scientific fact that reality television is the kiss of death for marriages, and it was only a matter of time before the pressure and downside of popularity caught up with these two. I'm not one for sticking it out for the sake of the kids, but I do think when Jon is eating ten day old stale pizza in his sad little studio appartment with his Charlie Brown Christmas tree and rapidly receeding hairline, he'll wind up regretting leaving his wife and kids for some stale, used up piece of barely legal pussay. Mark my words. I'm like a soothsayer when it comes to this shit.


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