Friday, June 5, 2009

Lance Armstrong Has a New Baby

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Months after spilitting with girlfriend Sheryl Crow because he did not want to have a babay, Lance Armstrong and his one ball knocked up his girlfriend of about five minutes, Anna Hansen. Anna popped the little sucker out yesterday, as twittered by Lance. The ubercyclist began pre-labor stating that "Toughness is being redefined today", whatever the hell that is supposed to mean. He followed the tweet up 8 hours later with the caption "Wassup, world? My name is Max Armstrong and I just arrived. My Mommy is healthy and so am I!." Well, I suppose toughness really was redefined. That newborn baby apparently learned how to read and write the English language in a mere matter of minutes. How advanced!
Max is Armstrong’s fourth child. He also has son Luke, 9, and twins Isabelle and Grace, 7. Luke and Isabelle and Grace were conceived through artificial insemination using sperm Armstrong banked ahead of his treatment for testicular cancer. Little Max however, was just a very determined swimmer. Perhaps the next Micheal Phelps?
In other news, Sheryl Crow has now added "Max" to the list of names she never, ever wants to hear.

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