Monday, June 22, 2009

Matthew McConaughey is Having a Babay, Just Keeps Livin'

It's a Christmas Miracle: Matthew McConaughey managed to put down the bong long enough to impregnate his gorgeous girlfriend with his totally righteous sperm. The actor announced the pregnancy yesterday (Father's Day) on his website in the special, stonerbabble way that only Matthew McConaughey-hey-hey can.
"Happy Father's Day. It's my first, and the last 11 months with Levi and Camila have been the most rewarding adventure to date. We have more blessed news to celebrate this Father's Day that makes this time next year double the fun. Levi is going to be a big brother. Yeah, we pulled off the greatest miracle in the world one more time. Camila and I are expecting our second child, bringing more life into the world, making more to live for. The future looks bright as the family grows, and we thank you for all the well wishes you send out way. Viva la evolucion, naturally, and in the mean times and all time, just keep livin, Matthew and Camilia."
Why is it everytime this man opens his mouth to speak, I feel like I just dropped peyote in the middle of the Arizona desert with a shaman and Mickey and Mallory Knox? I swear, if his next blog post includes the quote, "Mister rabbit says, 'A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers.'", I would not be an iota surprised. Although I must confess, I don't know if it's the reggae playing on his website, or if I'm just getting a contact high from here, but I'm almost beginning to buy into his bullshit. It's sorta making me want to ride some gnarly waves and hug a damn Redwood.
Also, I'm pretty surprised to find out his ass is so fertile. It's a well known fact that the ganja is not a friend of the sperm count, and as much as MM smokes, I'd assume his swimmers would be in the negative at this point. Way to defy the odds, McConaughey-hey-hey!


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