Friday, June 5, 2009

What's Red and Orange and Whorey All Over?

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Why, Denise Richards of course! The worthless use of silicone is still trying to remain relevant, despite her valient effort to do so by using her poor, innocent children as pawns in a never ending war of words with ex Charlie Sheen. Now the actress model woman Satan's minion is flapping her jabber jaw about all her botched breast jobs she's had in the past. Yeah. It's come to that. When asked if her sad, saggy radioactive tits were real, Diablo Denise replied "Um, natural on outside, on the inside they are not. I was 19, and my roommate had the best boobs ever, and she had just had hers done. I was flat as a board, and I thought, 'Whoa, you can just buy them,' and stupidly had them done!" First time was not the charm, so Diablo wound up going to see a second plastic surgeon. "The next guy put bigger ones in, and it was not good -- they were a D!" Being the quick learner that she is, she went in for a third time and was finally happy with the result.
Well, I certainly hope her daughters and other young women learn a lesson from this story. If at first you don't succeed, get two more tit jobs. Because if you don't have brainless nitwits jerking off to you in a faux lesbian love scene, then you are a failure at life. Isn't that right, Mariah?
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She says yes.

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