Friday, July 17, 2009

Lindsay the Daytime Hooker Wants to Sell You Some Pants

Actually this should have been a "Who That Is?", because Lindsay Lohan is barely recognizable in her latest ads for Fornarina. My best guess is that this is the handiwork work of the Lord, NASA and sourcery, because this is some photoshopping of Biblical and scientific proportions. I mean, you almost can't even see that special yellowy-gray dead for days tinge that seems to cling to LiLo's skin like crack on a Winehouse. Why I'd venture to say that Linds hasn't looked this hot since she was 19. Only four years ago.
And I must say, of all the people in the universe Fornarina can get to sell pants, they choose Lindsay? Really? Girlfriend hasn't been seen wearing pants in years. Getting her to hock pants is like getting me to sell sunshine and optimism and kind words. It can be done, but odds are it's a bad, bad fucking idea.
Oh, and is anyone getting a strong Rock of Love reject vibe from this shoot? I swear she is one cooch shot of Grey Goose away from being the most mediocre one night stand Bret ever did have.


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