Sunday, July 26, 2009

Candy Spelling Blasts Tori in Open Letter to TMZ

Is there something you feel you need to tell a loved one, but aren't sure what would be the most eloquent, appropriate way to broach the subject? Sure you could send a Hallmark card, but that is sooooo 1985. You could also go on the Maury Povich show, but who's got time for all that? In this day and age, you need a venue to unleash your most intimate of opinions. A forum to discuss what should only be discussed behind closed doors. A forum like TMZ. Sure we have had celebrity parents and hanger-ons write memoirs, sell their story to the rags, or publicly call their offspring psychotic (eh hem, Jon Voight), but truely there is not better way to say I love you or I hate you, then penning a heartfelt, eff you bitch letter to your daughter through a celebrity gossip website. And if you don't believe me, just ask Candy Spelling.
Candy, aka Mother of the Year aka Botoxy McPWW, decided that she has had enough of seeing daughter Tori's face on the Oxygen network, so she took pen to paper and spew forth this little gem bashing Tori for bashing her on her show. In the letter, Candy calls Tori "Middle Aged" and chastises her for publicizing and allegedly exploiting their hot and cold relationship on Tori's reality show. Because nothing says "I don't want to be exploited" like writing a letter to TMZ. Anyway, here's the letter. Try not to weep too many tears over the unraveling of the greatest mother/daughter relationship since Joan and Christina Crawford:
FROM: CANDY SPELLING I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter. Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings. I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me. Cue music. Cue sideways glaces. Clue Lights. I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh. A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show. Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that i would not be attending. Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it. For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later."
Uh...all I have to say is....


Keith said...

Candy sounds like such a witch.

Madam Miaow said...

No wire hangers!!!

Actually, if I was Tori I'd have a ton of them delivered to mommie's door and then see if she got the point.

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