Thursday, August 13, 2009

Because Nothing Says "Exceptional Mother to Be" Like Using Your Fetus as Press for Your Reality Show

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Someone better go ring Octomom's doorbell and tell her to hand over that Mother of the Year trophy, because it looks like we have ourselves a new reigning champion! Kourtney Kardashian, sister of Kim and co-star of the E! reality show "Kourtney and Khloe Have Nothing Better To Offer Than This Staged Television Show Which Will Singlehandidly Make You More Ignorant Than Dax Shepherd in 'Idiocracy'" (or KAKHNBTOTTSTSWWSHMYMITDSII" for short) has just announced that she is pregnant. With a baby. Yes, I know what you are thinking and I do agree that the government should really start mandating that people need to be permitted to breed. But until then famewhores like Kourtney can continue to not only be baby incubators, but can use their no bigger than a bean fetus to promote their shitty reality show.
Originally when asked who the baby daddy is, Kourtney insisted that the father's identity remain a mystery until the season premiere of their show. However in an interview with The Today Show this morning, K revealed that the father is in fact her exboyfriend Scott Disick. Now I know what you're saying to yourself: "Who the fuck is Scott Disnick?!?" And the answer to that question is I have no fucking clue. Apparently he's some sort of trust fund baby who grew up in Jersey as a PWK and attended some swanky school in the Hamptons. Word is his family spent the millions they made doing God knows what, and now he's just roaming the streets as a slightly less revolting Brandon Davis (which trust me is NOT a compliment). So to sum up, Kourtney is pregnant with a baby she is using to promote her shitty reality show, the father of whom is a jobless former rich kid who refuses to do that demeaning thing called "work" because at one time he used to be rich. Sigh, what a beautiful way to bring a baby into the world. It's like something out of a fairy tale!

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