Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Penis or No Penis: The Lady GaGa Edition

Ok so I've been trying to avoid that whole "Lady GaGa is a hermaphrodite" rumor, but I've quickly come to the realization that it isn't going away so I might as well talk about it so I can get it out of my cranium. You know, sort of like when you have an annoying song stuck in your head for days until finally you just say fuck it and listen to the song in it's entirety because that's your only remedy left for finally getting it out of your mind. Well Lady GaGa and her penis rumors are like my "I Will Always Love You."
So anyway, it all began during her gig at the Glastonbury festival in England when something suspect peeked out of that super short skirt of hers. Fans snapped away and the result was an image that has been passed around the internet more times than herpes in Hollywood. At first people were reluctant to believe that Lady G was actually a dude in disguise, then came this suspect quote from an unidentified blog: “It’s (being a hermaphrodite) not something that I’m ashamed of, just isn’t something that i go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but i consider myself a female. Its just a little bit of a penis and really doesnt interfere much with my life. the reason I haven’t talked about it is that its not a big deal to me. like come on. its not like we all go around talking about our vags. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I’m sexy, I’m hot. i have both a poon and a peener. big ****ing deal.”
Seeing as how the sources to that quote only lead back to more sources instead of an actual interview, I was still reluctant to believe. (Not to mention the fact that she uses the words "poon" and "peener" which do not seem like something she'd say at all) That is, until I saw the video. Now, I've seen a penis a time or two in my day and I must say, it certainly looks like she's got one. (And if you don't believe me, fast forward to the 1:10 mark on the video below) Not that there's anything wrong with that. In fact, anyone who knows me knows I love nothing more than my husband, my dogs, York Peppermint Patties, and Queens. Therefore if Lady G. is found out to be an undercover brother or even just a hermaphrodite, I might actually start listening to her music. Until then I'm going to remain semi-ambivalent, because I've basically seen her tranny game on repeat at Buzz in D.C. since I was 14. So it's kind of old news. I also have a tendency to believe that she's a dude because of her insistance that she is trying to get people to reevalute their definition of sexy. And in this day and age (what with the hounding paparrazzi following you everywhere), you have to be a pretty crafty bitch to hide a secret that big. Well, bigish. Like a 6 inch secret.
Anyway, I am dyyyyying to hear what you guys think. Is Lady G packing heat, or is she just biting Peaches' gig by strapping one on? I'll let you be the judge. Maybe you can also tell me why hermaphrodites have never been considered a 3rd gender. It seems like such common sense that they should be. After all, if you were born that way I don't see why you should have to be either a woman or a man. Why can't you be both? That's the way God made you and I'd like to see the Bible beaters argue with that logic.

Oh, and btw, is this clip from the Glastonbury or a Jonas Brothers concert because I swear no one in that audience is over the age of 12.



Madam Miaow said...

Nope. Good gag by GagGa, tho.

Keith said...

Who knows. I've had so many friends debate this issue.

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