Monday, October 26, 2009

Lindsay Lohan Looks Like a Malnourished Baby Prostitute in Style Magazine

Ok first of all, everybody here knows the title on the cover of this magazine is bullshit. If there is one thing our favorite little firey trainwreck does NOT do, it's get dressed. Undressed yes. Dressed? Hell no. Unless of course "dressed" means slapping a bow on her vagina before she flashes us her lady bits for the fifty thousanth time. In which case I am sure she's more than happy to oblige.
In addition to seeing more of Lindsay than her OBGYN, I'm also sick of asking the question "Why in the eff does this chick continue to land covers?!?" She hasn't worked in ages, her face is falling off faster than MJ's in the mid 90's and her lungs have seen more damn tar than an understudy for "Fiddler on the Roof". I could understand if she had something interresting to say, but she doesn't. It's always the same song and dance with her. "Oh, I know I went out and partied but I was young. Yes, I might have stalked my girlfriend but I love her. Sure I totalled more cars than a majority of Americans will own in their lifetime but what's your point? Yes, I've been arrested and ran over people and driven all jacked up on Coke and Jameson but I'm rich so who gives a fuck? I'm just going to pretend appologize and wait for someone to falsely assume my tears and sowwys are sincere." Blame, blame, blame. Blame the paps, blame my dad, blame it on Rio, blame it on anyone but me. Honestly, I would love the opportunity to give this chick a good slap across the face followed by a stern "wake up and smell the coffee, bitch!" Ugh. Lindsay Lohan. She really gives us gingers a bad name. Just when we were staring to gain all this ground from Ron Howard, Christina Hendricks and Julianne Moore, this girl has to go and set us back tens of years.
Anyway here's more of the ghost of Lindsay Lohan past in an editorial for *snicker* Style Magazine shot by my homegirl for life, Ellen Von Unwerth. Love me some EVU.


Anonymous said...

should be "trailor crash couture" instead...

The Haute-Shopper said...

I agree... I have no idea why she's still featured in fashion magazines (it's one thing to be in gossip mags all the time). I was pretty shocked when Elle UK chose her as the cover model two months ago, even though they couldn't even get an interview out of her, because she was half drunk/too busy stalking Ronson all the time. I miss the days when people with actual style (and models) graced covers of such magazines.

Mrs. M. said...

omg Anon you are so right! It's clever and funny, but also sad because its so true.
and i agree Haute-that Elle interview was a really clear example of her priorities. If she doesn't have time to be bothered, why should the mags?

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