Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Double Talkers!

Either the editor of People magazine is suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder, or they are a complete fucking idiot. Yesterday I posted the news that Robert Pattinson has been named their sexiest man alive, complete with the cover to prove it and everything. However today this cover featuring Johnny Depp has been released announcing him as the sexiest man alive. Say it with me: Dooooblay Talkers! Lair mouths! Fibbers! Ball droppers! Why, if Robert had emotions or could at least mimic them I bet he'd be crying a river of sparkly tears.
Also I DO agree that Johnny is probably the most universal lusted after dude in the world, making him the best candidate for the job. However, their sexiest man title is usually the laziest most unoriginal choice ever. Next year it will be Brad Pitt, then George Clooney, then Matt Damon, then Johnny, then Brad again, wash, rinse, repeat, snore.
Oh, and you guys! Do you know who has tragically never, ever been named sexiest man?

Travesty! Despite being completely covered head to toe in body hair for "Fur", he managed to seduce Nicole Kidman AND the audience. Angles MaGee might have the Twihards, but RDJ's sex is magic.
UPDATE: People has confirmed that the former cover is simply a false, photoshopped version. Ironic seeing as how it looks better and more natural than 99.9999% of the photochopped jobs out there. They should find out which Twihard made this cover and hire their asses STAT!


Keith said...

So there definitely is a God. lol Johnny Depp might not be an original choice, but I'm so glad it's not Twilight boy. I can't stand him. I sure wouldn't have minded it being Robert Downey Jr.

Mrs. M. said...

they are really dropping the ball in my opinion by never naming RDJ as their sexiest. He's like the male Gwen Stefani. Guys love him, women love him, he's so universally cool but yet at the same time not threating.

Lindsay a.k.a Busty St. Clair said...

Whoa. How has RDJ never been named the SMA? Have they never seen Kiss Kiss Bang Bang? Cause that man was pure SEX in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. So was Val Kilmer now that I think about it.

I want to pet that picture of RDJ.

Mrs. M. said...

lol me too Lindsay!
you know what else i was surprised about? THat Denzel has only been named sexiest once, and that he is the only (I was gonna say black dude but) non-white person to ever make the list. You know when Sean Connery is the most ethnic person on any list, there is a situation going on.

Lindsay a.k.a Busty St. Clair said...

How does that even happen? Denzel is scientifically proven to be sexy. And I have never noticed the lack of diversity in out Sexiest Men Alive. That shit needs to change.

leahb said...

Omg 'Fur' is one of the hottest movies of all time. RDJ is a sex god and the people at People are fools for not seeing this. FOOLS! And yeah, I think it's time to get creative. The Johnny, Brad, George trifecta has been old for awhile now. As for diversity, I think Kanye's attractive, but I could be publicly stoned for admitting that.

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