Friday, April 30, 2010

Lindsay Lohan Plays with Guns & Faces Jail Time. What Else is New?

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I hate that I love these new Lindsay Lohan photos taken by Tyler Shields. I really, honestly want nothing more than to look at them and feel pure disgust in my heart, because the logical part of my brain is sick of LiLo's face, name and shenanigans. However, Tyler Shields IS a mothereffing genius and (despite wanting to say differently) Lindsay CAN work her rapidly aging shit out when she wants to. Therefore it is with simultaneous self-loathing and girlish giddiness that I say these pics are kinda the cat's meow. Ray bans, lingerie, guns, and dark haired dames-Mr. Shields must know these are a few of my favorite things!
In other Lindsay news, TMZ is currently reporting that the "actress" might be headed to the clink for violating her parole. The troubled starlet has not been showing up for the alcohol education classes a judge ordered her to attend once a week after she was busted for DUI last year. Judge Marsha Revel has warned the perpetual badgirl she'd be tossed behind bars if she failed to comply with the probation terms. State law requires the alcohol-ed school to inform the judge only if a student is absent for 21 days, and Lohan has frequently scammed the process by waiting until the 21st day to show up for class, according to TMZ. Lohan's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, denied she has a probation problem. "We have received no negative written report from the program and contend Ms. Lohan is therefore in compliance," she told TMZ in an email. But Lohan faces a progress hearing in court on May 20, and, as TMZ puts it: "Lindsay met the school's requirement, but squarely violated the judge's order." Knowing Lindsay though she probably thinks her ginger ass can strut into jail in a striped PVC v-neck and perform unrehearsed syncronized dance routines with her Cry-Baby-esque cellie. I got news honey: If you think jail is like Lady GaGa's "Telephone" video I got news: IT AIN'T! Two weeks in the hole and you'll be crazier than
Tobias Beecher after an unwelcomed ass branding. Until then, keep up the bitchin' photoshoots.

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