Daisy Buchanan Is a Shoe In

Mary Kate Olsen looked simply maaaavelous dahling boarding a plane yesterday to catch the tail end of Milan Fashion Week. Although the polly pocket blonde has been given the boot by sister Queen Ashley, she will be helping her twin create a new shoe collection for one of their brands. The duo has signed up with Steve Madden to design the line, which will hit stores and sites in America next spring. God I hope they don't include those hideous keebler elf boots Daisy as been sporting lately. Those things are unflattering and fuuuuugly!

Lindsay Lohan for 6126

Little Miss LiLo struck a pose for her recently launched line of leggings 6126. The good news is, she looks pretty good. The bad news is, this crap is too cheap and tacky for Peggy Bundy. Nice try though. At least she's participating in good clean fun-even if it does belong in the bargain bin at The Dollar Store.

M.I.A. Drops Clothing Line Today!

Do you know what today is, people?!? It's the day which shall live in infamy forever. And no, I'm not talking about 9/11 which I won't even touch on because it is too sad and there's nothing I could say which would come close to summing up the sadness wrapped around it. I am instead talking about the day that one of my favorite artist and ladies in the world M.I.A.'s clothing line drops! Appropriately dubbed KALA TOUR/Okley run collection features an eclectic mix of pieces that can be worn by men and women. But be forewarned-these hot items come with a hefty price tag. T-shirts start at (yes, start at) $75, Tank tops are $65, Pullover Sweat Shirts will run you a $150, Hoodies are priced at $180, and the infamous Mexico jacket checks in at a cool $210. The limited edition collection is currently available and will only be exclusively sold through MIAUK.com & at both Opening Ceremony New York & Los Angeles locations. Although you have to pay a pretty penny to own a bit of M.I.A., like she said, you can be sure you'll never be wearing the same outfit as someone else at a party. Or maybe even in your town.

New William Rast Commercials

Here are the latest trailers for Justin Timberlake's clothing line, "William Rast". I likes it. It's got a dark, exciting, Bonnie & Clyde meets Natural Born Killers kind of feel. And I am finally not ashamed to admit, I kind of like J.T. and all the crap he churns out. I'm sure that says something about me as a person, but I whatever.
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Michael "I Shit Gold" Phelp's Mommy Has A New Clothing Line

Well, well, well! Seems as if someone's gotten a little taste of fame and they are hungry for more! It seems hot in the bod, fug in the face Michael Phelp's mommy, Debbie Phelps, is coming out with a new clothing line exclusively for Chico's entitled-are you ready for the sheer creative genius?!?-"The Debbie Phelps Collection". So original that one! I bet it took three weeks, a team of marketing professionals, ten Keebler evles, and hours upon hours of deep meditation and self reflection. If you want to see the collection, click here. But you probably don't. Would you rather spend your time checking out the collection of half neekid M.Phelps pictures below? I know you would you little dirty minded individuals!
P.S. That man is the only man in the world who should be allowed to wear speedos. I'm just saying, it's not a look everyone can pull off.

Whatcha Gonna Do With All That Ass, All That Ass Inside Them Jeans?

JESUS! Flavor of Love's Delicious' new line of jeans called D-Cut looks pretty good, but that ass of hers is enormous. I'm talking have your own zip code, fire department, shopping center, gravitational force field kind of enormous. The jeans run from $79-$110, which sounds kind of pricey, but is actually fairly decent considering all the fabric they must need just to cover that ass. I mean damn! That thing could be used as a fallout shelter for at least half the country. Bigger than a biodome! At least we now know if the shit goes down, we have a safe haven for all the women and children.


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The Jessica Simpson Fall Collection

So you have to admit it, the Jessica Simpson line is filled with cute stuff. I'm sure she has postively nothing to do with the line except for promoting it, but hey, at least she does that. I mean, most stars think they are too good to even hock their own brands, so I will give her credit. I will also say for Jessica, that while she may have awful, terrible, horrible, no good, very bad taste in movies, music, and men, she does always dress fabulously. So, even if she has nothing to do with the ubercute Jessica Simpson line, I at least think she makes a good spokesperson for it.
In case you're wondering why I'm being so nice, I'm beginning to feel a little sorry for this bird. I know we are all so mean to her sometimes, but bless her pure, dumb heart, she tries so darn hard to do well! Poor Jess! Everything she touches turns to crap.

Criss Angel Releasing Clothing Line; Crabs, Herp and Hair Gel Not Included

Ever wish you could have that same tackadocious, stereotypical Jersey metal meets meathead style Criss Angel's always sporting? Well, now's your chance! The illusionist le douche is introducing a new cloting line in partnership with Dussault Apparel called MF13. The line will include jeans, t shirts, and accessories that will be sold at the Criss Angel Mindfreak store at the Luxor Hotel in Las Vegas as well as www.crissangel.com. “I am very excited to be working with Jason Dussault on the creation of my MF13 clothing line,” remarked Criss Angel. “CRISS ANGEL Believe will be unlike any show the world of entertainment has ever seen. The samples we are creating already reflect my lifestyle. Live the life!” Jason Dussault said, “I am a huge fan of Criss. After spending time with Criss, both at our flagship store opening in Los Angeles which he filmed for his television series, and after reviewing the story boards for CRISS ANGEL Believe, I could not be more inspired. I feel that the products I will be co-designing and producing for the Criss Angel MF13 line and the T’s for CRISS ANGEL Believe will be my best art to date.” Ugh, whatever! If there is one man on Earth whose style should not ever, in any way, even on Halloween be emulated, it is definetely Criss Angel. That being said, this crap is totally going to sell well. Mark my words.
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More Unqualified Celebs Design More Crap and Call It Fashion

You have positively no idea how tired I am of hearing about new celebs shitting on a t-shirt and calling it fashion. Actually, I'm sorry. Most of them would not even take a shit for their "collection". That would be entirely too much work. All they are good for is scribbling their name on cheap ass fabrics and stale designs and cashing some checks. The three latest "designers" are (seriously are you ready? Because it is out of left field) Luke Wilson, Carlos Santana and Sheryl Crow. First up we have Luke Wilson who teamed up with Swedish sports star Johan Edfors to design a line of golfwear for Puma. Allegedly, the two have been inspired by sportswear styles of the 1950s for their own design selections. Or, you know. Whatever the real designers told them to be inspired by. Next up we have Carlos Santana, who is branching out from his shoe line (yes, shoe line!) to create a line of handbags. I am sure they will be fabulous. And of course by fabulous I mean awful. Finally Sheryl Crow is set to release a denim line entitled, "Americana". Teaming up with Western Glove Works, the jeans are both eco-friendly, and use fair-trade cotton and denim. The western and vintage collection, which is described as "comfortable and earthy" is due to launch on August 15, through the singer’s Bootheel Trading Company. I guess this one makes the most sense, seeing as how denim is all she wears, but really, do we need another goddamn celebrity denim line? You're not exactly reinventing the wheel here.

First Look At the Elizabeth and James Jewelry Line

Queen Ashley and The Other One's jewelry line for one of their fashion houses, "Elizabeth and James" isn't due to hit stores until September, but that doesn't mean we can't get a sneak preview of things to come! Intermix has already released a few images ranging in price from $125-$525 that are already available for pre-order. While the Olsens (Ashley) do their own design work when it comes exclusively to fashion, the duo enlisted help from help from famed jewelry designer Robert Lee Morris for this particular collection. Judging from the pics below, I'd bet these items are going to be snatched up before you can say "Tall Sugar Free Vanilla Non-Fat Extra-Ice Blended Latte".

Just As Ugly As I Expected

Asos.com has just unveiled Mischa Barton's bew handbag line which she claims to have designed all by her lonesome. Now, I would question her ability to even go potty on her own, but since these bags are so beyond the realm of explainably fug, I'm going to let her take full credit for them. The fourteen "vintage inspired" bags 'o crap are made from various materials including leather, snakeskin, and barf. All are finished with Mischa's signature logo, the 666 symbol. No, I'm kidding. It's a flower logo hand drawn by the useless waste of space herself. But I'm sure she traced the flower from an already drawn sketch. The overpriced, glorified grocery bags range from £20.00 - £170.00, but you can just go to your local Target and buy basically the same thing but way cuter for about $10.

People Have Bad Taste

You know those fugly cheap ass leggings that Lindsay Lohan is trying to con people into spending over $100 for? Well they've evidently been branded a success after the range sold out in stores across the U.S. The hot mess launched fashion accessories line 6126 - named after Marilyn Monroe’s birthdate - earlier this month and the range has already sold out - with customers being placed on a waiting list until stores can order new stock.
Los Angeles boutique owner Jaye Hersh tells E! Online, “The collection is blowing out, we were so overwhelmed by the reaction. We have launched other celebrity collections here, and this one is just flying through the door.
“We launched Lauren Conrad’s collection, we’ve had Mandy Moore, we’ve had various different celebrity lines, but this one really seems to be hitting home." Say wha?? Those things are ugly as sin! I can only imagine that people are buying them for friends as a joke or for their next costume party when they go as LiLo. Ariva and hair made of vomit and straw sold seperately.

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Kitson Says "Lata Bitches!" to LC and Vickie Beckham

Back in April I told you how Victoria Beckham's line dVb was tanking, and that Kitson was on the verge of ditching the line altogether. Turns out that is precisely what has happened. According to sources, Victoria refused to make promotional appearances or even wear the brand. Even although yesterday a dVb rep sent a statement that read, "The dVb men's collection is on target to launch in stores for holiday 2008 as scheduled," they won't launch in Kitson. And when the NY Post called the rep back today to find out what stores the line would land in, she was unsure. She nervously said the line is being shopped around to retailers right now. That means it's unclear which stores will wind up buying it and selling it. That also means it's possible no stores will buy it at all. TMZ just reported, "dVb is stripping any mention of Victoria off the [men's] jeans actually to help sales." But the dVb rep asserts the line will still be called "dVb by Victoria Beckham," remaining unchanged. Um...I don't think it's the name. I think it's that they're trying to get us to by a $30 pair of jeans for $300.
In related news, Kitson is also dropping the Hills Ho Lauren Conrad's shitty "line" that my dogs could have singlehandidly make in their sleep. "Sales were lackluster," Kitson owner Fraser Ross told us. "Initially it was great." Like with Victoria, Ross tried to get Conrad to do a personal appearance in the store but said her people couldn't figure out a date. "They need to realize it’s no different than selling your album, your TV shows, your movies. You have to keep promoting it." Well, all I have to say is it's about damn time. Both lines-particularly LC-are sad excuses for fashion.

Mia Tyler is Fucking Hot

This is a bit old, but nevertheless I just found this completely accurate blog
Mia Tyler wrote about Beyonce's girl's line (pic below) for her clothing brand, House of Dereon. In the post she writes:
Beyonce Should Know Better
Current mood: aggravated
I saw this ad for House Of Dereon (Beyonce's Clothing line) this weekend and was enraged. This is her ad for her girls line. To promote CHILDREN like adult women is disgusting to me. This photo is glorifying these babies as women. They are wearing lipstick and blush, feather boa's... And the worst part is that they are in high heals. As a role model you would think Beyonce would have a little more sense than objectifying these little girls as grown adult women. I am outraged. I think pageants are terrible too. I dont understand how people can dress their children up in make-up and skimpy outfits and make them seem like adults. For what? A chance at fame? I dont understand it at all. This is a pedophiles playground. And I think there need to be laws banning parents from doing this to their children. Kids should be playing dress up with their friends not on stages. I just can not sit quiet about this... What is your take on it all?
Damn Mia, not only are you 100% right, you are one hot boss lady for calling that bitch out. On the real though, you know Beyonce doesn't give a shit as long as thoe checks are rolling in. Not only is this children's line offensive, her adult wear is offensive too. To my corneas. That shit is the tackiest excuse for clothing I have ever seen. Dollar store, bedazzled crap at couture prices. Ridic!

Kanye Collaborates With Louis Vuitton

Sitting front and center at the French fashion house's spring 2009 show in Paris last week, Kanye West told Women's Wear Daily that he has signed on to collaborate on a line of men's footwear for the LVMH-owned luxury brand. West, a huge fashion fan, has blogged before about his passion for couture, calling runway shows "one of [his] favorite things in the world." He also spoke with U.K.'s Gaurdian newspaper at the LV show Friday about his fondness for the brand saying, "I grew up with the Louis look, you know. I just love the style."

Kanye Creates Clothing Line

On Friday while in town for Paris Fashion Week, Kanye West announced that he will be releasing a women's clothing line for the fall. While I normally give flack to the ridiculous slew of musicians, actors, actresses and hookers that feel the need to come out with their own clothing line despite having no experience or training in the field, I can sort of understand Kanye creating a line. He does have a unique personal style and he is a sincere lover of fashion. He's front row at most of the shows around the world, and you can tell he really respects the art and craft behind high fashion. 99% of celeb clothing lines are not only so unoriginal and boring, but you can tell they don't see fashion as an artform-which it really is. I think this is something he would take seriously and be passionate about, so I'm curious to see what he'll come up with.

The Shirts off Jabawockeez Backs

America's Best Dance Crew winners Jabawockeez are using their newfound fame to expand their empire by brancing out in the world of clothing design. The B boys will be selling limited edition graphic tees with either their name or signature masks printed on them. You can check either here or here, but neither site gives a date of which the items will become available. They simply say: "Coming Soon".

Victoria Beckham to Release High End Dress Collection

Vickie Beckham has managed to find the time in her busy schedule of not smiling, not eating, and posing for the paps to design a line of high end dresses entitled "POSH Frocks". There aren't many deets as of yet regarding the new endeavor, but we do know that she will be selling her pieces at upscale department stores. She also said that her items would be "slightly" more expensive than fellow Brits Kate Moss and Lily Allen's clothing lines. Marc Jacobs, whose Spring/Summer Collection she recently (and hilariously) posed for, is also said to be lending a helping hand with the designs. Now, I've just taken a few business and marketing classes, and I am just a consumer, but don't you think you'd reach a wider audience and sell more by making clothes slightly affordable? I mean, that is part of, say, Kate Moss' TopShop collection: that it's reasonably priced. I know she wants to think she's Hussein Chalayan and shit, but when you boil down to it, she's a Spice Girl with no formal fashion education or training. Who is her target audience? People who have millions to burn? I think not! We saw how successfully (or unsuccessfully) her overpriced VB Rocks and dVb brand sold. If I were her, I wouldn't bite the hand that feed me, and think a little more reasonably.
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A. Pete. Wentz. Clothing. Line. Explosion of Head.

Make it STOP!!!! Someone please put an end to all these damn celebrity clothing lines!!! If I've said it once, I've said it a gajillion fafillion times-just because you WEAR clothes doesn't mean you can MAKE clothes! Fashion is an art and you are shitting right on it! These designers go to school and work hard to perfect their craft and here you come along with skinny jeans and a crappy song and sign your name on some poorly constructed cotton top that says "Punk rock 4-Eva!", mark it up and call it fashion! Gross!!! Anyway, Pete Wentz now has a clothing line called "New Clan" available at Nordstrom, but the pieces look like any old thing you can find on the clearance rack at JCPenney's. The items range from $28-$88 (no, that's not a typo). How are you going to even try to charge $28 for that shitty ass print tank top? It's not even cute! And it looks like it's going to start curling up after the first wash! Why don't you stick to what you're good at Pete. Flatironing your hair, applying eyeliner and pretending to be a talented singer/songwriter.








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A Jessica Simpson Lingerie Line

Jessica Simpson is now setting her blurry sites on the world of lingerie design. You know, because why the hell not? The collection of bras, undies, sleepwear and daywear will hit major department stores and online shopping sites just in time for spring ‘09. Jessica tells Women’s Wear Daily, “I like different lingerie for different occasions. I think that’s the best thing about it. You can feel sexy or girly depending on your mood.” She also promises to included a stylish assortment of shapewear so women no longer need to worry about panty lines. Ugh. First of all, with as many goddamned celebrity clothing lines that have emerged in just the past few weeks, I really should have a pre-written script of sorts. One where I just insert whatever dumbshit's name who thinks that despite fact that they have no schooling or training, their famous name qualifies them to be a skilled designer. It would save tons of time! Secondly, perhaps Jessica should focus her energy on trying to be good at one thing, instead of being mediocre-to-shitty at a whole bunch of things. I'm just saying! It might help.
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